the ring // by vallaster

Extremely unique plot, originally done in Japan, that combines genres of both horror and thriller movies to comprise a film that ultimately kicks ass. When I hear someone say “the ring,” I immediately think, “I don’t want it to come down to it, but I will kick the shit outta that dead chick if she screws with me…” the most exciting thing that this film brought to me was that by watching the movie wherein characters witness another movie that kills them after watching it, I too have just witnessed the same deadly film. Thus, I immediately anticipated a call after the movie telling me that I was going to meet a decrepit chick that’s been rotting at the bottom of a well, only to have her frighten me to death. At this, I pronounce, “fuck the dead chick.” This has ultimately taught me that as soon as I die, I’m going to make a DVD and give it to everyone I hate so I can scare’m with my pants down.