Thursday, April 30, 2009

Susan Watkins -- Topic of Choice 1

In my life this semester, there have been one or two events that have really broken my heart and made me see how weak and messed up I am sometimes. When I encounter situations like this, I usually try to find the good and find the hope. When I met Jesus a few years ago and started trying to learn about Him more, I felt like this was what it meant to live by joy-- to find the happiness even in bad situations. I don't think that's wrong but I'm beginning to wonder if it's not the whole story.

Otto's writing on the sacred and mysterium tremendum talks about God as amazingly powerful and incomprehensible. This fits in pretty well with my original perception of Him-- I always think of power, wholeness, joy, goodness, etc. But I'm beginnig to wonder if brokenness isn't an essential aspect of God's character, too. Some of the times I feel closest to God is when I'm broken-- C.S. Lewis talks a little bit about this when he talks about Joy and Sensucht in various writings. But I always interpreted that to mean that we feel close to God when we're broken because we sense that He is whole, and we are drawn to Him. But what if there is an aspect of God that is also full of sorrow? Is that possible?

Jesus' life was full of suffering and when He was on the cross, He expressed despair and brokenness. Some people say this is just because He was fully man as well as God, so this is the human in him speaking. But He's fully God too, so doesn't it also have to be God speaking?

I don't know just yet, but I've been thinking about it a lot.

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